This is the second installment of our Q&A column with acclaimed dog behaviorist Brad Bevill of Bevill Dog Behavior.
A Reader Asks:
After spending the last year working from home, my office is reopening. I’m ready — but my dog isn’t. He’s been by my side — or in my lap — day in, day out. How can I get him to adjust with my new routine? I’m afraid there’s some serious separation anxiety going on here.
Brad answers:
You can’t spend months creating an unhealthy relationship with your dog and then, whenever you’re ready, change your behavior and expect your dog to just somehow adapt. There’s no magic: You have to create an ongoing, sustainable healthy relationship.
When it comes to separation, there are three things your dog needs to practice:
- Not following you around the house.
- Not dictating what happens next.
- And not anticipating what your routine or pattern is. Otherwise, you’re setting your dog up to fail.
I think it’s sad when owners allow their dog to be on them all day.
It sits on your lap during conference calls and lays at your feet while you’re doing emails. You get up to get water, they follow you. You go to the kitchen to get coffee, they follow you.
So guess what happens now? After six, eight, twelve months, you have to go back to the office. They follow you all morning, just like always. But then, when you leave for work, you have to shut the door in their face.
I’m here to tell you that a dog’s brain is not an active, willing participant in the activity of separation. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Your pet’s brain is in the same mode that it’s been in for the last year. You haven’t taught it how to be away from you; how to have a confident, healthy relationship with a human being.
Instead, what you’ve created is dependence, trapping your dog inside your house as you disappear. And that’s not normal pack behavior, which is to stay together.
We have to teach our dogs how function in the human world, where the pack comes and goes.
Luckily, the solution is simple: Don’t let your dog be on you all the time. Be attainable, but make sure it has crate time when you’re home.
A well-adjusted dog knows how to rest and relax; to be calm, and even more important independent.
Don’t make your pet like the kid on the playground who won’t let go of your leg—even when 20 other kids are having a wonderful time. That’s unhealthy. That kid is not socialized properly, which is why they’re holding onto you instead of playing with their buddies.
No one wants their dog to have separation anxiety or be miserable when they go to work. But they’re just not cognizant of the patterns they’re creating day in and day out — which is that their dog is dependent on their presence.
While there’s no quick fix, it’s never too late to start. You need to teach your pup to be away from you — whether that’s in its bed 10 feet away or in the next room.
Before you start your workday, take your dog on a long walk to drain its energy. That way, it will be able to rest in its crate while you’re at work. You want to create a healthy separation, healthy independence, and healthy boundaries so that when you are in your office — home or away — your dog is able to relax in its crate.
Send Brad your pet-related questions daltxrealestate.com/contact/ or comment below.
P.S. You might recall the idea for this column came from Daltxrealestate.com founder and publisher Candy Evans who welcomed her new Goldendoodle, Butter Belle last year. Months later, Baby Belle joined the family, too. Here’s our fearless leader with her two bundles of joy.
