So the other day I was flipping through my latest copy of Private Islands magazine, as one does, being super fancy in my super fancy house in a super fancy part of Dallas. *
And I realized that if you’re not super fancy, as I am, you may not know about Private Islands magazine, nor its super fancy website, where you can look at all the private islands that are available for purchase all over the world.
If you are like me, and have super fancy wishes and decidedly unfancy finances, flipping through the pages of Private Islands magazine may be the only way you will see a private island unless you can get Dallas code enforcement to be cool with a moat, and then you dig that moat.
But let’s look at some private islands anyway, because feelings and reasons.
Take Frozen Cay in the Bahamas, for instance. For just $17 million dollars, you can own this island. “An unparalleled offering of a private turn Key island comprising 40 plus acres located just 35 miles northwest of Nassau, accessible by private boat or seaplane,” the listing says.
OK. So I’m poor enough that I had to Google how much a yacht is so let’s just say we’re going to have to make a decision with all of these scenarios — are we buying a used yacht for $1.5 million that is probably small and also shabby (but rich people shabby not Forrest Gump shrimp boat shabby) or are we spending $275 million for a superyacht that doesn’t have any people stank on it yet?
Anyway, for either $18.5 million or $292 million, you can get this island and a boat since you’re going to have to get to it somehow.
Want way more room and way less money in your bank account? Try this $48 million island retreat in Florida. Black’s Island is a little more than seven acres, and includes “26 luxury bungalows connected by a boardwalk to a four-story, 6,500-square-foot community Big Game Club,” and “there is also an 18-hole golf course and lighted tennis courts available here for guests.”
Want to be close to fancy pearls and live on an atoll? The Nengo Nengo Atoll in French Polynesia will set you back $55.8 million, you get to say you live on an atoll in French Polynesia so you know, Facebook that badness.
“It’s vast and stunning internal lagoon spreads over some 67 kilometers and for the past twenty years has been the breeding waters of one of the world’s most beautiful gems: The Tahitian Black Pearl,” Private Islands magazine says.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Pearls, y’all. And you know it’s fancy because it’s measured in fancy kilometers.
So do you want a private island? And a yacht? Will you be my friend? Are you going to start reading Private Islands magazine with me? Sound off in the comments.
*Lies. I read Private Islands magazine while drinking boxed wine and wearing yoga pants while hiding in the walk-in closet of my house that is nice, but not super fancy and is not in a super fancy part of Dallas.
