One of the first things my predecessor told me about writing the Wednesday WTF is that you will always have this tiny little bit of panic on Tuesday morning when nothing worthy has crossed your desk, and then, she said, “the benevolent WTF fairies will deliver.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe the woman who began the Wednesday WTF and molded it into something I’m proud to continue, it was just that I didn’t know if the fairies wouldn’t get the change of address.
But lo, they did. Tuesday morning I was sweating, then by Tuesday noon, bam! The most excellent Wednesday WTF that ever uh, why the faced.
Now, I have to preface this by saying the video I’m embedding is not the one I wanted to. But the only access I’ve found to the one I actually wanted to has a cursey word in it that some of you pearl clutchers will take issue with, so you’re gonna get this other one instead.
But we will talk about the video I wanted to show you. I’m just gonna link it, that way you can decide on your own whether you’re OK with a curse word in the early morning.
So, first this video by Australian Realtor Matt Micallef. Again, this is the one that led me down the rabbit hole of WTF, and it’s a doozy. You see, Monsieur Micallef likes to reaaaaaaaaaallly sell his homes by sometimes doing videos.
“Big deal, so do I,” you may be thinking.
No, I mean, he uh, acts in them. And stuff.
And the above video is the …. stuff. He raps. I mean, not well, but he raps. I mean, I can see why — when the street address for your listing is on Sangster, why wouldn’t you do a rap video so you can rhyme it with “gangsta?”
That was sarcasm, by the way. You should not do a rap video for your listings, unless you are actually maybe Dr. Dre, or Snoop Dog, or Jay Z.
Is Matt any good? No. Not at all. Not even a little bit. A sampling of his beats:
“My name is Eminem and I work for Ray White, give me a low offer and I’ll put up a fight.”
“Camera man, please show them the extra-large kitchen with the hella stone bench. I’m getting hammered bro, someone dig me a trench.”
“Yo, it’s safe to say that I put the home into ‘homie.’ Stop judging me, fool, you don’t even know me.”
Is he a good Realtor? IDK, but according to his Facebook page he has won a bunch of awards for being a good Realtor, so we’ll say he is. He is a good Realtor who should definitely not rap.
Now, I did promise you an embedded video. I cannot vouch for the language in the video because I refuse to watch it all the way through, but I can vouch for the fact that it is 100 percent ridiculous.
Have a great Wednesday.
