I have been preoccupied these past couple of weeks and I missed the news stories about how our government basically said UFOs are real. So I asked my husband, Gus, about it and he just went on and on and on. Needless to say, I did not pay attention to anything he was saying. That is the first time that has ever happened in 30 years of marriage.
So rather than ask the Gusman again, I turned to trusty Google. I entered “Why has there been discussion of aliens from outer space?” into the search engine. The top three hits nearly made me wet my pants.
They were: “Why these scientists fear contact with space aliens,” ”UFOs and Aliens Among Us,” and “Messages To and From Outer Space.” I skipped the first one because really, who needs that type of negativity in their life? The next one was about country music being the best way to communicate with aliens while the other was about aliens living and working among us.
I am no longer interested in why UFOS were in the news because there is no way country music is the best way to communicate with individuals who have mastered interstellar travel. We all know that rock ‘n’ roll is the music of choice when communicating with space creatures. Do you know why? There was an article I read years ago that said Elvis was in fact a space alien and that he is not dead but simply got beamed back up to the mothership. I digress.
So the other day my beloved sends me the link to the house featured in this week’s column. It completely proves my very unscientific theory about UFOs, aliens, and Elvis.
“Light Landings” is a three-bedroom, three-bath home (it is a spaceship, my people) that is more than 3,500 square feet in size. It is located at 1633 E Clark Road, Lansing, Michigan. The description says it is a flying saucer and then conveniently adds “replica.” I am not fooled. The Coneheads are asking $359,900.
The front doors are in the shape of a saucer. That is the first big clue that aliens not only lived here but designed this house.
Another tip-off is this kitchen. Only space aliens trying to pass as humans would think this kitchen is stylish.
Do I really need to keep going? Okay, I will up the ante.
Elvis, at one point during his time on Earth lived at this house.
Not only does the bathroom have a bidet, but the tub is in the shape of a heart. You know where you can find a lot of hotels that have both bidets and heart-shaped tubs? Vegas. Who spent an incredible amount of time in Vegas? Come on, you know the answer just shout it out. Elvis!
I can sense that there are still doubters among some of you. Here is the cherry on top of that delicious sundae.
Graceland had a jungle room. Well, so does this place.
So, just to sum things up: UFOs are real. The best form of communication is rock ‘n’ roll because Elvis is one of them and knows how to speak their language.
Even his capes were saucer-shaped. If we are lucky, maybe one day our alien overlords will bring Elvis back.
For more photos go here.
