You know my favorite saying in real estate — “you cannot make this $#@T up!”
Well, here is but one more example. Honestly, I am torn between thinking this agent is the freshest thing to hit real estate since the lockbox or wondering if she is a Real Estate num nuts. I would love to get this before the eyes of the folks at Inman’s Real Estate Connect and hear what they say. Is this the new age of transparency? I mean, who actually puts these words down and spews them across the internet for a home they want to sell?
In any case, you be the judge.
Nice little house in the Bird Streets, 6715 Oriole. Shannon Estates. Original asking price was $250,000, now the place is listed for $320,000. Yeah, go figure that one. DCAD has it at $200,920 and in fair condition. 3000 square feet says the agent, 2598 says DCAD, .30 acre lot (90 by 140, DCAD), built in 1945, with three bedrooms, two baths. Then there is the property description — wow:
| Property Description: This home is a mess inside. mattresses on the floor. interior rooms locked. Dont show and then complain of the mess. were telling you up front – – this house is a mess. All showing must be finished by 2 PM. No utilities are on in this house. Near Park Cities and Love Field. CSS will tell you the name of the person who is not to enter this property based on a legal order. Seller says I will NOT LOOK AT OFFERS LESS THAN THE LIST PRICE. |
| Excludes: THIS HOUSE IS A MESS INSIDE. SOME ROOMS ARE LOCKED. EVERYONE IS TO BE OUT OF THE HOUSE NO LATER THAN 2 PM. |
| Directions: Tollway to Mockingbird, West on Mockingbird, Left to Oriole house its on your left, next to a vacant corner lot. |
| Private Remarks: DO NOT SHOW AND THEN COMPLAIN TO THE LISTING AGENT. WE ARE TELLING YOU UP FRONT THE HOME IS A MESS. SOME ROOMS ARE LOCKED. YOU MUST BE OUT BY 2 PM SELLER WILL NOT LOOK AT AN OFFER LESS THAN THE LIST PRICE. DONT SHOW AND THEN COMPLAIN. |
The listing agent is Diana Sifuentes. And this description is in the third party ags, too.
What if every agent said what they really felt when they wrote up listing descriptions:
“This house will probably make you need Prozac for the rest of your life. I honestly don’t know what the sellers are smoking — don’t look too closely for the hash pipes.”
“If this homeowner could be any cheaper, he’d figure out a way to take the air in the refrigerator with him.”
“Please excuse the mine-field of tchotchkes and family photos. And don’t tell me the house is too “personalized”. You try dealing with Jabba the Hutt and her 50 years of “priceless” antiquities, including that lovely shag carpet that is hiding every germ known to mankind…”
Now you’ve got me started… don’t read and then complain!
