“Art is the distilled essence of the human soul. Some merely sip at the intoxicating brew of creativity, others merely sate their thirst, but for a few, creativity flows like an unending stream, painting the canvas of our world with strokes of brilliance that endure on walls and canvases, across wood and stone, upon floors and ceilings.”
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you write incredible prose. ‘Ol Eric Cooper is wasted in real estate. He should have a contract with Simon and Schuster.
“Nestled within the humble confines of a brick-and-mortar Cape Cod dwelling, a man was bestowed a canvas to express the vivid tableau of his soul.”
Let us see if the home featured in this week’s column is worthy of those words.
The object of so much prose has three-bedrooms, one-bathroom and is 1,441 square feet in size. It is located at 757 Jason Ave, Akron, Ohio. The owner is asking $130,000.
“With eyes gleaming with mischief and anticipation, he embarked on a quest to infuse this home, already brimming with unique features, with an added dimension of enchantment, whimsy, and the extraordinary.“
By this point, you are probably wondering why the house is priced at $130,000.
So you say you like the Renaissance period? In this home, you will have 1,446 square feet of Michelangelo, Botticelli, and da Vinci.
You can literally count sheep when you have trouble going to sleep.
“Yet, it was the awe-striking art adorning the walls and ceilings that truly breathed life into the edifice.”
Between you, me, and the lamppost, if I had to use the restroom in the middle of the night and came across these folks waiting to roll me as I went down the stairs I would wet my pants.
Wait, I take that back. I would wet my pants waiting for the street urchins in the corner to do a jump scare.
I will be honest, I am torn between loving the house and wanting to run. I have written about some homes where the murals took up the entire wall and it was a mess. But these murals are nicely done but all in small square footage.
I will let ‘ol Eric have the last words on this house.
“The result of a 15-year love affair with creativity — a testament to the entwined dance of art and life. They spar and twirl, console and exult, two commonplace entities transformed into something extraordinary through their union.”
Pick up the phone Eric, the literary world is calling and they want to read more of your prose revolving around real estate listings.
For more photos go here.
