It all starts innocently enough. First, you see a “for sale” sign in a tony neighborhood and you get curious. You open up your favorite real estate app and punch in the address. But things quickly heat up once you see the words “spa-like master bath” and “wood-burning fireplace.”
“Are you bored? Are you looking for something to spice up your life?”
“Oh yeah.”
“You used to want sex, but you’re in your late 30s now.”
“And sex isn’t really doing it for me anymore.”
“You need something new. Something exciting.”
“I need a new fantasy.”
“Then you need Zillow.com”
It’s a scene our own founder and publisher, Candy Evans (AKA The Woman Who Brought House Porn to The Bible Belt), knows quite well. And now thanks to the hilarious Saturday Night Live skit from last week, more and more Americans are realizing that they, too, have a House Porn addiction.
That’s basically what the show’s sexy hotline skit about Zillow.com is about. An entire generation that had to forego homeownership to pay down their student loan debt now cruises real estate apps for House Porn and a cheap thrill.
“Selling real estate is about showcasing the dream, the lifestyle people aspire to have,” said Karen Eubank. “We all fantasize about what it would be like to live somewhere else — especially in a multi-million dollar home.”
“It certainly is a thing,” said writer Tommy Cummings. “Not that I’ve been on a dating app, and not there’s anything wrong with that, I bet if you set the filters right, your dreams can come true. Your housing dreams, that is.”
But, as the finest purveyors of House Porn, we couldn’t help but feel like we were being copy-catted.
“My first thought was that they totally stole the house porn concept from Candy,” said Adlene Dealey, our Wednesday WTF columnist. “Then I realized we moan a lot less.”
But our founder and publisher, Candy Evans, isn’t about to let them off easy.
“SNL totally ripped me off,” Candy agreed. “I was the first in Texas to use the term ‘House Porn.’ I will never forget speaking to the Dallas Builders Association — some of the most conservative dudes anywhere — and I was asked ‘What is ‘House Porn’?’ Well, I said, it’s like when you, ya know, take those magazines with photos of very pretty girls into the privacy of your bathroom … and … except it’s real estate! Not women!”
Obviously, putting it that way struck a chord.
“Oh my God there were so many red faces in that audience,” Candy said, “but mine was ON FIRE!”
