I’m not sure what it says when two different people send you two different stories about murder houses in a week, but hi, it’s Wednesday and we’re going to talk about homicide and houses.
No, not houses where the photography is so bad, or the cleaning so derelict that it looks like a murder house, but actual, bonafide, houses where someone was sent to take a dirt nap, offed, dispatched, and/or lansbury’d.
Hi, that last one was courtesy of the way back machine.
And, to be clear, we’re not making light of murder. The WTF is more about uh, wondering who would be involved in what you do with a house after a murder, because there is no way in uh, aitch-ee-double-hockeysticks you’d see the week stomached-us able to do any of the jobs we’re about to describe.
So anyway, someone first sent me this article from Rolling Stone, about Randall Bell. “Who is Randall Bell?” you ask.
Randall Bell is a real estate appraiser. But not just any real estate appraiser. I’ll let Rolling Stone‘s EJ Dickson explain.
“He’s consulted on the house where Nicole Brown Simpson was killed, the Flight 93 crash site, the Heaven’s Gate mansion, and the site of the Manson family murders; his clients range from insurance companies to lawyers to federal governments to ‘families around the kitchen table. Basically, whoever’s going through a tragedy.’ He’s not into the macabre, he insists — just driven by the need to help people when they’re going through difficult times.”
Bell said that he had been a commercial real estate appraiser for a while, started law school, and then realized he didn’t really want to be a lawyer. Then he decided he would only appraise properties that had been damaged or “stigmatized” in some way.
And he came up with a bit of a system. He explains the system, and talks about a few of his cases (which are actually pretty famous), and I’m not going to share it because I don’t need to urp my bagel.
But that brings me to the second story sent my way — if you read the whole Rolling Stone article and are still needing more deathy death house stuff, good news there’s a TV show for that, because apparently someone thinks there’s an audience for it?
You see, mobile-only streaming service Quibi will launch “Murder House Flip” early next year, and it’s aimed at the Chip and Jo fans with murder in their hearts. Or something.
“Instead of redoing a regular house in need of some modern updates, it goes inside some of the most infamous homes in the country—ones where high-profile murders took place,” Apartment Therapy explains.
According to producers, the show will see to bring “healing and solace to families living in the aftermath of tragic events by transforming dark places into healthy spaces,” the piece said. “Rather than dwelling on the details of the case, it’ll also focus on cleansing and removing bad energy from the past.”
So are you planning on watching the murder house show? Could you be a murder house appraiser? We, for one, have some admiration for anyone who can step up and help a family through the worst of a situation in any way, but we’re not quite sure about a whole TV show about flipping homes where tragedy has struck.
Sound off in the comments.
