Confession: Since I started writing the Wednesday WTF last year, it’s kind of become this thing where when I introduce myself at professional functions, people automatically say, “YOU’RE THE WEDNESDAY WTF.”
I’ve had fun writing these, even if my search history is a little sketchy now and I’ve seen some things I can’t unsee. But it wasn’t until last week that I found two people that definitely demonstrate what it looks like when I find something that is perfect for the Wednesday WTF.
Meet Anissa Centers and Jennifer Kielman of Tyler-based KLTV. They anchor the 4 p.m. news for the station, and about three weeks ago they ran a gauntlet of two stories that uh, well, are the video equivalent of a Wednesday WTF.
I know a gauntlet should technically be longer than two stories, but seriously, when you encounter a true Wednesday WTF in the wild, and you’re unprepared, it can seem like 50 stories.
That’s math.
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And luckily for us, Kielman posted it on her Facebook page so that everyone can watch my two new best friends react to two stories — one about a dog sitter gone nope, and another about (as I promised last week) dolphin fornication.
In the first story, it seems that a dog sitter a man hired had uh, friends over. Friendly friends. Friendly friends who did friendly friend things on his couch with the dog sitter. Friendly friend things with a camcorder and a bottle of personal lubricant. Friendly friend things that traumatized his dog.
I’m sure it’s not helpful when you’re on air and the camera crew starts laughing hysterically, too. But Kielman and Centers are up to the task, and proceed to react exactly as you should react when a story like this comes up on your teleprompter.
“You put your nasty behind in my shower,” Centers said, in reaction. I love her.
“Poor Jimbo! What he saw …. “ Kielman added. I love her, too.
Both admit they didn’t watch the story before they went on air. “I wish y’all could’ve seen our faces while that story was on,” Kielman said.
Now, you’d think that story would be enough. But no. Immediately following the dog sitter made a porno story comes a story about a dolphin who needs some uh, satisfaction so badly he is trying to bump uglies with jet skis, boats, and people.
Kielman read the story as Centers lost it.
“Y’all, I am sweating,” Centers said as both try not to giggle their way through the report.
The full video is below. And Anissa, Jennifer?
