What I enjoy the most during this time of year are the Christmas songs. My all-time favorite, much to the chagrin of most of my friends, is “Santa Baby” sung by Eartha Kitt.
As it turns out, according to a 2020 YouGov poll, my beloved song is the most hated of all Christmas songs. That is a real shame because I thought I would take a shot at writing my own variation of the song. I will call it, “Reader Baby.”
So get some of that Christmas spirit and humor me.
“Ba ba ba ba boom ba boom
Reader baby, slip a little house deed
Under the tree, for me
Been a fairly decent good girl
Part of the year
Reader baby, hurry to Connec-ti-cut”
I know what you are thinking, “Connec-ti-cut, really?” Shh, don’t ruin it.
A Christmas Gift That Fits Perfectly
No need to worry about size or color, this Christmas gift will fit me just right. It is located at 0 Green Island, Branford, Connecticut. This four-bedroom, two-bath house is just over 2,300 square feet and sits on an island. The owners are asking just a mere $3.75 million.
“Ba boom ba boom
Reader cutie, I want vaulted ceilings
And panoramic window walls
Tried my best to be good
I’ll try better, maybe
Reader baby, gimme a break.”
“Ba ba ba boom
Think of all the columns I’ll write
Think of all the laughs that you’ll get
As I embrace the views
And think of you
The words I write
Will change your life.”
“Ba boom ba boom
Reader honey, all I need are brilliant blue skies
And beautiful water vistas
Magnificent views in all directions
I make no promises for next year
I’ll do my best
We’ll play it by ear.”
“Ba ba ba boom
Reader baby, forgot to mention one little thing
I promise I won’t sing
This song for you again
If you will run off to
Connec-ti-cut
And bring me back the deed
To my own is-land.
Reader baby, hurry to Connec-ti-cut
My house is under contract
Hurry to Connec-ti-cut tonight.”
So there you go. That is my version of my favorite Christmas song. I fully anticipate a Christmas card from the estate of one Eartha Kitt because I can pretty much guarantee that “Santa Baby” will no longer be the number one most-hated Christmas song once my little ditty hits the airwaves.
For more photos go here.
