Before we delve into today’s hot mess of choices that we’ve deemed a true Wednesday WTF, I’d like to address a frequent pearl-clutching reader question.
“Does WTF stand for what I think it stands for?”
Yes. Maybe. Depends. See, let me explain. In the immortal words of the great fictional Realtor Phil Dunphy, I like to think that it’s “Why The Face.” Candy, our esteemed publisher and founder, likes to say it’s “What the Fudge.” My son, who is seven, believes that the f-word is “friendless.”
So yes, WTF can stand for whatever you think it stands for, be it pure or impure, uncouth or couth.
So there you go.
Today’s WTF is a gem that coworker Karen Eubank slid into my mentions earlier this week, while I was taking a defensive driving class for running a stop sign that I definitely did not run.
Once again, like some of our other WTF offerings, it is a house that has some potential, but there are a few things that uh, make you wonder what the homeowner was thinking.
This home, located in Saluda, North Carolina, is actually adorable on the outside and has so much potential on the inside. The description explains that it’s an Old World style home, nestled in the mountains and sitting on almost four acres.
I almost feel like my blood pressure dropped 10 points reading the description of the location this home sits in.
And a lot of the things some might take issue with — drapery choices, paint colors, furnishings, etc. — are easily fixed. And the gorgeous hardwoods, the amazing stained glass, and a lot of the other finishes make this house almost worthy of a SecondShelters.com appearance.
But there are just a few things we have questions about.
Like, uh, the kitchen.
I don’t know what this is, but we can see it from two angles. It’s greenery. Attached to the ceiling.
Now, I’m no health code person, but how do you keep the dust and other things that would love to live in that from dropping into your mac and cheese?
I mean, HOW DO YOU KEEP THAT FROM JUST BEING A SPIDER/COCKROACH/WHATEVER ELSE I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HABITAT?
It’s also clear this would make a great vacation place with plenty of space, because hey look at this one bedroom with like three beds all over the place, including the one directly on the floor. True story, one time I had this roommate who snored really badly and his mattress was a futon mattress on the floor (no frame), so the rest of us picked it up one night while he was asleep and put him in the driveway. So just remember, options.
And there’s also a room that’s been staged, apparently, to look like a 1970s recreational vehicle.
And then there’s the master, where the heart-shaped hot tub is right over there in the corner of the ding-danged bedroom, across from the bed.
This kind of layout speaks of a subtlety of intent only seen in Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo or The Love Guru.
But all in all, if you like spiders and debris in your overnight oats, this does seem like a great place to go settle your glitter after a week of rat race. But I am curious to see what led to the design choice — you?
