Really good friends of ours hail from Iowa. They are the kindest, most hardworking, sincerest people you would ever want to meet. They call dinner supper, were raised on farms, and epitomize the best of Midwestern values.
Like the majority of empty nesters, they have been working on their home. They did a limestone wash of the brick on their fireplace and painted their living room the most pleasant blue. They bought new furniture to match. Their living room looks fantastic. She says they spend the majority of their time in that room because it is so relaxing.
This is why the home featured in this week’s column had me do a double take. It may be located in Iowa but it is not a home decorated by Midwestern people.
This Midwestern ranch is located at 1228 17th Street, West Des Moines, Iowa. It has two bedrooms, two-and-a-half bathrooms, and is almost 3,000 square feet. The owners are asking $375K.
Now if I were a betting woman, I would say that someone who lived in Las Vegas moved to Iowa and brought Vegas with them. You can just smell the cigarette smoke and if you are quiet you can hear the slot machines.
Okay, if I ever walked into my friend’s home and saw these doors I would turn right back around, get a shovel and start digging up their front yard looking for the pods where the bodysnatchers put my real friends.
The listing agent mentions “double dragon front doors.” Excuse me, but those are golden lions.
I know my readers well enough, however, to know that you all are focused on why they would block the front door with an end table. I got you fam. It is so they can show off that the floor vent matches the front doors.
Yeah, you are walking over a bridge to get to the back nine.
Look, you absolutely need the bridge because you do not want to step into the koi pond running through your house. Anyway, it goes with the astroturf. It adds to the “nature” feel of the house.
Just so we are clear, those are dragons on the wall.
I can hear my friend now, “Oh my word!”
Hand to God, I walked into a casino that had this exact wallpaper and ceiling.
Our friends plan on updating their kitchen now that their living room is done. Being the good friend that I am, I’m going to suggest they take into consideration the kitchen in this Midwestern home.
Somehow I do not think she will appreciate my suggestion.
I do not think she would wear bunny ears though.
To see more photos go here.
