As I was surfing the interwebs, I came across the trailers for the new Barbie movie starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling coming out July 21. Lord help me, I watched both of them. Those are five minutes of my life I will never get back.
I am not completely sure if Barbie is geared toward adults or little kids. You would think the trailers would let you know, but alas they do not. In the aftermath of this viewing I sat pondering, “What the hell?”
To be honest, I was never a Barbie girl. My favorite childhood toys were my Hotwheels. Barbie, Ken, and the rest of their crew never appealed to me. Pink this, pink that, pink, pink, pink — it was just all too much. The upcoming movie seems to follow through to their dedication to the Barbie brand and the color pink.
Now, some may call it kismet but it just so happens that after I saw those trailers and the feeling of nausea eased, I came across the home featured in this week’s column. Basically, the owner of this house saw those movie trailers and said, “Hold my beer.”
Maintenance-Free Barbie Dream Condo
“Who needs a Barbie Dream HOUSE when you can have a MAINTENANCE-FREE Barbie Dream CONDO!!!” I love enthusiastic agents.
This four-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bathroom condo is located at 3294 Alpine Drive, #13, Ann Arbor, Michigan. It’s not exactly beachfront property but apparently, Barbie also likes the cold. The owner is asking $315,000 for the nearly 1,300-square-foot dream home.
I know what you are thinking. Where is all the pink? Trust me, I am easing you into this. First, it is incredibly important that we all acknowledge there is a tremendous amount of leopard print for the living room. The leopard eyes staring at me is perhaps a smidge too much.
That is a lot of chandelier for a small dining area. Just saying.
Even the pots are pink.
“Call me Juicy.”
Whoa. That went in a direction I was not expecting.
Let us get a closer look at that bedroom.
You just cannot go wrong with neon lights and a huge, lighted, mirror placed right in front of the bed. It just screams ‘BARBIE!”
Let us go to the other two bedrooms and see if we can get a reprieve from just about everything we have seen so far.
The only thing missing is the stripper cake for ol’ Barbie to jump out of for Ken and his pals.
Come on, you knew I would deliver you a stripper cake.
The only things left to see are the bathrooms. Brace.
If I could find that toilet seat with the lips, I would order it for my house. As for the other toilet seat cover, my word. I grew up in a house of doilies made by grandmother but never, not in a million years, did any of them end up on our commodes.
And with that, my friends, I think we are done. Remember to take the shot glass with you when you go to see the movie Barbie this July. You can thank me later.
To see more photos go here.
