So, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the market in San Francisco is hot. And I also don’t know if you’ve heard, but the ground in San Francisco can move a lot in a geological phenomenon called a mother-lovin’ earthquake.
Why are we talking about this? Because we over at the Wednesday WTF found this listing that brings both of those points to home in spectacular fashion.
Now, you might look at these photos and think, “What is your beef, Wednesday WTF lady? This is a pretty nice place. I approve.”
But.
Wait.
For.
It.
Ah. Yes. There it is.
Yes. If you’re wondering what that is, it’s a support beam so your ding-danged apartment doesn’t fall over in an earthquake. It’s right there, in your kitchen, transecting a countertop between the range and the fridge.
You won’t trip over that at all, right? Oh, you will? Every damned day?
Well, guess what? Someone paid more than a million American dollars for the right to crack their shins and stub their toes while making risotto.
And this handy beam is apparently not standard in all units of this building, but a few do have this bruising feature.
And just in case you think I’m engaging in hyperbole, here’s a former owner of one of these beamed out, shin-splitting kitchens:
I broke my little toe on the beam. It has a little flange sticking out that is perfect to bend your toe back on. If you’re walking fast enough, you can get it to touch your foot.
— Will ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Smith (@willsmith) July 26, 2018
One person got creative and painted it black, and added shelving to make it more of an … island?
The Hell Beam runs through other units in the building too, but at least they tried to build around it here. Painting it black is a bold move. pic.twitter.com/DaJ87qffEC
— Andy Baio (@waxpancake) July 26, 2018
At any rate, all the units are currently sold, but I say give this buyer from June about six months and you’ll probably be able to buy this toe-killer from him or her, but probably not quickly on account of the fact that they’ll need time to hobble to the closing.
