I am one of those lucky people where every week is like Christmas.
At least once a week for this past year, the great people of this fair land have put their crazy homes on the market and I have had a blast finding the best ones of the bunch to write about for Wednesday WTF. I make myself laugh on a weekly basis.
Hopefully you all get some laughs as well every Wednesday morning. I am truly appreciative of the time you take read my column and humor me as I quote songs, wax poetic about anything 80s, and even write my own little ditties.
So to wrap up the year, I thought I would create a list of my five absolute favorite Wednesday WTF homes for 2022.
From my family to yours, may you all have a very happy Christmas, and may the best of your past be the worst of the future as we pop the cork on 2023. I will be looking for you next Wednesday.
Let us move on to my favorite homes featured on Wednesday WTF for the past year. Now for the countdown.
No. 5: No Sea Shantys Can Help Sell This Houseboat
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.”
There is not an adult who grew up in the 1970s that does not know the theme song to Gilligan’s Island. In your head, you were singing those lyrics. It is okay, you are not alone.
Now I bring up Gilligan and the castaways because the home featured this week reminded of the shipwrecked SS Minnow in that it looks like it crashed onto a deserted island. Oh, I should add that the owners of this home had it built as a replica of the Mayflower.
Yes, that Mayflower.
Read the full story on the home located at 119 Leons Road, Hoffmeister, New York.
No. 4: Love Eye-Melting Color And Wall-to-Wall Carpet? This Home is Right up Your Alley
“There is plenty of room for pool tables, a home theatre, or whatever other imaginable things you desire.” The only thing missing from this picture is the nacho cheese dispenser on the kitchen counter.
You will always remember what you had for dinner that night, two nights ago, two months ago because all those smells will be in that carpet.
I know what you are thinking now. “Hey, where’s the sex parlor part of this house? We were promised sex parlor!”
Okay, you dirty birdies, here you go.
Boom chicka wow wow!
Read the full story on the home located at 1814 Senter Ave., Burlington, Colorado.
No. 3: George Jetson’s Boyhood Home Foretells The Future (And We’re Here For it)
Okay everybody, mark Aug. 22, 2022, on your calendar. The future is knocking and trust me, you want to answer that door. What is the significance behind that date you ask? That is the day George Jetson is born.
While I am always hopeful that magical woodland creatures who clean and cook actually exist, I know that at least I have Rosey to look forward to in the future. Although I will not make Rosey wear the little French maid outfit. I am not a misogynist, for Pete’s sake. Bring down the patriarchy!
I am going to be completely honest — I love this house. Typically, round homes do not seem to work or they are clunky, but this one is a masterpiece. It is no wonder that the buildings in 2062 are round. This home is the model they followed. Let us take a look at where George grew up.
Read the full story on the home located at 3201 Peachtree Street, Sarasota, Florida.
No. 2: Midcentury Modern House Porn Designed With Porn Porn in Mind
If you are new to Daltxrealestate.com, allow me to introduce you to the term “House Porn™.” Our wonderful founder and publisher, Candy Evans, coined the term to describe a home that is decadent, lust-worthy, and you definitely get pleasure from looking at said home.
The home featured in this week’s column dances around that definition of house porn. Maestro, cue Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe.”
“I’ve heard people say that
Too much of anything is not good for you, baby
Oh no
But I don’t know about that”
Sing it, Barry…
“My darling I
Can’t get enough of your love, babe”
But you will get an eyeful with the floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
Read the full story of the home located at 5110 Antelope Lane, Smoke Rise, Georgia.
No. 1: This Pennsylvania Ranch Home is Brought to You By The Letters W, T, And F
When I found the house to feature in this week’s column, I knew who my imaginary guest writer was going to be: Elmo. Elmo would absolutely appreciate this house.
“Hi Elmo!”
“Hi Mimi! Elmo is happy to be here helping you write. Elmo’s a good writer. Elmo likes to laugh and giggle.”
“I know you are a good writer Elmo. I like to laugh and giggle when I write too. I think you will be interested in this week’s house. It is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.”
“Elmo thinks someone broke into the Elmo factory and stole all the material to put in this house. Elmo is getting kind of nervous.”
Read the full story on the home located at 30 North 11th Street, Bangor, Pennsylvania.
